breaking the silence

I’ve had to write this explanation for over a year now, and the time has come, even if it proves difficult … only two updates have been added to my blogs, following a major event in my life in 2025.

Last October, I posted a series of images on ILFG with minimal text, then a more complete one on CC, for which I had finished the preparation back in June. On the 19th, the person who had shared my daily life since 2011 left : I found myself alone, with my health problems and the consequences of this change.

You probably assumed my inactivity was due to my eye problems. I kept my community informed before and after each surgery over the winter. But I went through those moments without the support of the woman longtime followers knew as Faustine Duplessis.

A pseudonym meant to protect her identity, while still letting us show our relationship on social media. Jérôme Gouvrion became Jerome Duplessis in 2012, a symbol of an initial union that marked the first step on our shared path. We lived through the best and the worst : family and personal hardships, including my cancer, which led to the shutdown of my sites in 2016.

Ten years of fighting physical pain and the emotional suffering of no longer being able to live normally after 2017. The aftermath of a double surgery poisoned my day-to-day life, and Faustine’s too, as she did everything she could to support me. Together we buried my mother the following year, and time went on, until the day she decided to take a different path, away from me and from a life where illness and disability take up too much space.

Since then, it’s been impossible for me to go back to putting my archives online with commentary drawn from anecdotes or impressions about each shoot. At first, I simply didn’t have the strength, because my memories remind me of everything I’ve lost. Working at a screen had also become impossible, because of a cataract whose surgery we’d postponed due to my health and a timing dictated by more urgent problems.

Then, after a year of facing daily life alone, I understood a lot of things, and this is only about my role toward a community that still follows my photographic work. If my activity is now limited to editing and sharing photos on social media, it’s because of a lack of available time and energy. After my recovery, I busied myself with the blog I created in 2017 : Faustine was working, and I waited for her by cultivating this connection to my past … between each crisis, I tried to preserve whatever I still could.

Today, in 2026, I have no idea what comes next, living day by day, without desire or passion. Many questions remain unresolved, and my financial situation is difficult : it’s possible that I may soon be unable to pay my bills. Keeping my sites online is only a small part of the budget, but life is like that: sometimes the breaking point is reached, and everything stops.

I warned my community back in 2016, and it will probably be possible again in the future, but the situation is different now. No one will be able to take over or manage a transition if something happens to me: I invite you to download my archives, to keep a copy of this digital testimony of a photographic journey.

I would have liked to keep it going, but events and certain choices have taken their toll on this project, started back in the year 2000. The comment section and my inbox are open if you want to respond to this explanation, long but incomplete, confused, and spontaneous. I’m not giving up, and I hope to find the strength to break the silence again someday.

Jerome Duplessis

Voici plus d’une année que je dois écrire cette explication et il est temps de le faire même si cela s’avère difficile … seulement deux mises à jour ont été ajoutées à mes blogs suite à un événement majeur intervenu dans ma vie en 2025.

En octobre dernier, j’ai posté une série d’images sur ILFG avec un texte minimaliste puis une autre plus complète sur CC dont j’avais terminé la préparation en Juin. Le 19, celle qui partageait mon quotidien depuis 2011 est partie : je me suis retrouvé seul avec mes problèmes de santé et les conséquences de ce changement.

Vous avez probablement pensé que la raison de mon inactivité était mes problèmes de vue. J’ai informé ma communauté avant et après chaque opération pendant la période hivernale. J’ai traversé ces moments sans le soutien de celle que les plus anciens ont connu comme Faustine Duplessis.

Un pseudonyme destiné à protéger son identité tout en affichant notre relation sur les réseaux sociaux. Jérôme Gouvrion est devenu Jerome Duplessis en 2012 comme un symbole d’une union initiale qui constitua la première étape de notre chemin commun. Nous avons vécu le meilleur mais aussi le pire avec des épreuves familiales et personnelles dont mon cancer qui a entraîné la fermeture de mes sites en 2016.

Dix années de combat contre la douleur physique et la souffrance morale de ne plus pouvoir vivre normalement après 2017. Les conséquences d’une double chirurgie ont empoisonné mon quotidien et celui de Faustine qui a tout fait pour me soutenir. Nous avons enterré ensemble ma mère l’année suivante et le temps s’est écoulé jusqu’au jour où elle a décidé de prendre un autre chemin, loin de moi et d’une vie où la maladie et le handicap prennent trop de place.

Depuis, il m’a été impossible de poursuivre cette démarche de remettre en ligne mes archives avec un commentaire enrichi d’anecdotes ou impressions concernant la séance. Au début, je n’en avais pas la force car mes souvenirs me rappellent tout ce que j’ai perdu. Travailler sur écran m’était aussi devenu impossible en raison d’une cataracte dont nous avions retardé l’opération en raison de mon état de santé et d’un timing dicté par des problèmes plus urgents.

Ensuite, après une année à faire face seul au quotidien, j’ai compris beaucoup de choses et il est uniquement question ici de mon rôle vis-à-vis d’une communauté qui suit encore mon travail photographique. Si mon activité se limite à retoucher et partager des clichés sur les réseaux, c’est en raison du manque de temps et d’énergie disponible. Après ma convalescence, je me suis occupé avec le blog créé en 2017 : Faustine travaillait, je l’attendais en cultivant ce lien avec mon passé … entre chaque crise, j’ai essayé de préserver ce qui pouvait l’être.

Aujourd’hui, en 2026, j’ignore totalement la suite des événements en vivant au jour le jour, sans envie ni passion. Beaucoup de questions sont irrésolues et ma situation économique est complexe : il est possible que je ne sois bientôt plus en mesure de payer mes factures. Le maintien de mes sites en ligne représentent une petite partie du budget mais la vie est ainsi faite, parfois, le point de rupture est atteint et tout s’arrête.

J’avais prévenu ma communauté en 2016 et ce sera probablement possible à l’avenir mais la situation est différente maintenant. Personne ne pourra prendre la suite ou assurer la transition s’il m’arrivait quelque chose : je vous invite à télécharger mes archives afin de conserver une copie de ce témoignage numérique d’une aventure photographique.

J’aurais aimé être en mesure de la poursuivre mais les événements et certains choix ont eu des conséquences sur ce projet commencé en l’an 2000. L’espace commentaire et ma messagerie sont disponibles si vous souhaitez réagir à cette explication, longue mais incomplète, confuse et spontanée. Je n’abandonne pas et espère trouver la force de rompre le silence à l’avenir.

some words about me

8 years ago, to the day, I was agonizing in a hospital bed after surgery for cancer … I was re-operated that night, urgently for a serious infection with a life-threatening prognosis. It was the beginning of a one-week coma & hell for my love.

I woke up at the dawn of another life, different from the one I had before. The consequences of these operations still impact my daily routine. My condition no longer allows me to work, which is why I live in the past, exploring my memories.

Some people are surprised that I share my archives for free … this choice allowed me to focus my mind on something other than health problems. I was able to bring back online my work before the next alert. It will happen but I try not to think about this sword of Damocles.

I should be finishing the next update but these painful memories are parasitizing my mind … maybe writing some personal messages will allow me to forget temporarily this sad anniversary. Take my word for it, nothing is more precious than health : take care of yourself.

please show your love !

After the shutdown of my websites and some major health issues, I started to repost my best sessions on the blog. Since 2017, I have added more than 150 photo series available to download for free. That’s nice to share these memories when I get some feedback & support from you … but it doesn’t happen often enough !

Let me remind you that I don’t manage this blog to make any money : I work on the updates and social networks to escape from reality and my daily routine full of medical problems. You have the power to bright my day leaving a comment or message me everytime you watch one photo series or download one full length video . So, please, show your love because it is essential for any content creator like me, even more in a world where life is complicated for everyone. We need to spread some positive energy around us.

Recently, I replied to several messages and realized that many of my viewers don’t read me. Some of them didn’t understood that I don’t work anymore because a cancer changed my life. They watch my pics or vids but there is something more to catch beyond these memories. When I started this blog, my goal was to share my productions but also create one special link between you and me through my commentaries, an exchange which exists with few people through the years.

That’s why I invite you to be more active on this blog … let me share one statistic : 65.000 visitors, 100.000 downloads and 100 comments only during the year 2022. What do you think about it ? On my side, it made me thinking I was maybe wrong with my blog. When you write a post thinking nobody’s care about it, the problem become real.

Long time ago, in another situation, I decided to stop and turn the page. I wish being able to do it without the sadness and bitterness. I could also lock my archives with a password and give an access manually to the people asking for it. As you can see, my mind is full of ideas and I would prefer to continue peacefully the life of this blog.

So, I try to find the right balance between your user experience and my creator frustration … I hope this long post will make you understand that more feedback have to be posted here. If I don’t see any change within the next weeks, I will take my decision.

For now, let’s share the listing of my archives by chronological order + link to the blog entry … this is is a document made with Google Sheets allowing the reader to find my pics & vids. It made me thought I share too much content for only few people able to show some love : click on the following plus icon if you’re are interested about it.

more

Continue reading “please show your love !”

some (bad) news

I need to explain the reason why there is no update on the blog … last week, I started to feel bad, physically, not only mentally, and more than usual. If you follow me on twitter, you are probably aware that I am dealing with another health issue which is one of the consequences of my cancer. On 2017, February 02, exactly 6 years ago, I got the first surgery to remove the tumor. 5 days later, my surgeon had to do another operation because there was a massive infection killing me. It has been the start of a long fight that I won’t explain again … 2 years ago, at the same period, one big abscess appeared on my midline scar which is 30 centimeters long and I had to deal with several recurrences for 6 months. We’re now in 2023 and this thing is back.

Tomorrow afternoon, I won’t be behind my computer for the update. I will be at the hospital to talk about the situation with one surgeon. I would like to be positive but the calendar doesn’t help us, we are anxious, my wife & I. As you know, everything is more complicated nowadays in the healthcare system : even if France, there are a lot of problems since the COVID crisis. We are in the dark and we hope there is nothing too serious behind this another abscess. Because I lived a nightmare in 2017, the fear is inside me … I will keep you updated about this medical appointment scheduled tomorrow. I think it will be one step before some additional exams. For now, my only wish is to hear there is no hurry because this kind of battle deserves a good plan for a better result. Take care about yourself and the people you love, there is nothing more important !

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